Not being Hawaiian, or from Guam (Guamish?), we here at Hungry Native realized that we were ignorant in the ways of Spam (Lovely Spam! Wonderful Spam!). We decided to change that, and why not start with breakfast?
EA had a hell of a time just getting the potted meat product out of its container. Once released from the iconic blue and yellow can, the Spam landed on the plate with a sickening “plop/splat” type noise. Yummy! We started with a smell test. KD said, “It smells like cat food.” EA stated that, “It smells like cat food, but it also smells like canned tuna. You know, not as bad as most cat food.”
We decided to pan fry the spam. While the pan was heating up, EA couldn’t resist trying a few uncooked pieces. The verdict on the uncooked Spam was, “Firm-ish, meaty firm-ish. Salty, REALLY salty! Like super over-salted canned tuna without the fishiness, if that’s possible. Slightly hammy aftertaste, reminiscent of bad ham salad.” KD reluctantly got in on the fun, describing the raw Spam as “Cat food mixed with salty tuna, mushy and gross.”
KD was highly offended by the smell of Spam sizzling in the pan, but we forged on. Poking at it, EA said “Feels like toast. Hot, greasy toast. The outside is like burnt sausage or bacon.” The Spam had developed a crust that tasted like the more caramelized (burnt) parts of fish cooked on a charcoal grill. EA wondered, “Why does Spam taste like grilled fish?” KD responded with, “I don’t know. I’m scared.”
We diced up the cooked Spam, added it to a potato and onion hash and topped the mess off with a fried egg. And sriracha, lots of sriracha. Really, it wasn’t too bad. We found it surprisingly edible, even if we did use way too much Spam. Then again, pretty much anything is edible with a runny egg and sriracha on top of it. One benefit of cooking with Spam is that you don’t have to add salt to anything; the Spam takes care of it for you! We figured we could live off this stuff, if we had to, but we don’t recommend it.
Check out these interesting looking Books about SPAM
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